8,506 to 1 – My Coupe de France

On the last weekend of August many of the 8,506 entrants kicked off this seasons Coupe de France across the mainland and of course the other parts of France dotted around the world.  I have again begun my quest of keeping FFW – and you all – up to speed on events this season as Nantes look to retain the trophy.

Every season there were a small number of games forfeited and marked as 3:0 wins as a side are unable to fulfil the fixture.  Which must be frustrating for all concerned with the romance of the Coupe being removed before it action actually begins.  The inclusive nature of the competition does mean some pretty small clubs can take part which I think adds a real spark proceedings.  In my region – the Nouvelle Acquitaine aka the south west – games kicked off last weekend with the First round.  The regional associations are in charge of organising the early stages and sometimes need to set up a pre-liminary round prior to the competition proper. 

So to the action, there were also a few 12:0’s hereabouts with minnows losing heavily however one score did rather stand out…  Monein FC, a D3 side from near Pau faced Entente Sportive Nay Vath Vielha, from Arros-de-Nay who are D1.  The hosts have a rather nice little facility, according to every stadium geeks favourite app Google Streetview, with a plastic pitch.  However, they gained little advantage from the surface despite scoring twice.  Nay Vath however hit the back of the net sixteen (16) times!  That many goals is remarkable in any game, averaging one every five minutes.  It must have been difficult to decide when to check your phone or get a drink for fear of losing count!

On Sunday as I drove over 170 kilometres I had plenty of time to ponder again how big France is.  This was despite in the early stages geography being considered!  However, I was on my way to see Limoges Foot face Evaux Budeliere ES in a R3 v D1 clash.  The hosts lined up in yellow as the visiting supporters wondered how many youngsters were left at the club that hadn’t lined up in the blue of the first team.  A few of the lads who came in late last season were joined by others as the club captain and various others were missing from the fourteen.  Paul Dupuy was wearing the armband while Kante and Okobe were the only starters who were in the side early last season.  New signings Robert Aupetit, Faucher and Verdavaine started but otherwise it was players even diehards struggled to identify.

The hosts worked hard despite being hindered by an early loss through injury but they found it difficult to handle their well-schooled opponents.  There were no real chances prior to the drinks break but duly refreshed Limoges closed down the home keeper and Kevin Faucher  won the ball touched it by him and rolled it in.  Limoges looked assured and their opponents struggled to string passes together.  Just after the hour Oboke played in Faucher nicely who doubled his tally and the lead firing the ball across goal into the bottom corner.

Faucher hit a shot into the rock solid dry ground eight yards out but it bounced up and over before Verdavaine’s volley on the turn, from Llamas cross, smacked off the post as everyone waited for the net to bulge.  In the eighty second minute the hosts had their best chance but Pardelinha failed to connect cleanly.  In injury time Maurin – who’d caused problems to the hosts throughout – was pulled back as he skipped down the by-line without the Ref acting.  The final whistle saw Limoges progress and a useful exercise for coach Fabien Daguin seeing more young players do well.

Last year I reported on my nearest side FC Pays Aredian – from Saint Yrieix la Perche – losing on penalties versus a side two levels above.  Despite playing well the young keeper Dylan ‘Didi’ Mendil was clearly upset by the loss.  He was between the sticks again on Saturday as the newly promoted hosts faced another side from two tiers above this time Regional 3 AS Saint Yrieix from the Charante.  This clash of sides from towns with the same name was a first for me.  Coach Julien Lemetayer had continued to work with and develop younger players and many of them had a good season under their belt.

It has been dry lately and dust was being kicked up as the game started.  Neither side took control and despite giving away a few years to their visitors the hosts were not intimidated.  The seventy or so fans had something to celebrate in the seventeenth minute when a bobble caught out the visitors keeper and Hugo Lajudie closed him down.  Despite the custodian doing well to block his first effort the young wide man was able to put the ball in.  Almost immediately after the kick off it could have been 2:0 but the keeper blocked a shot from hard working front man Visser.  Moments later a Mendil moved wide to clear but his effort fell kindly for the red clad visitors whose number 7 put the ball into the empty net.

In the 24th minute the visitors had a great chance to take the lead when the ball hit a blue arm in the box.  It was more ball played man than man played ball but up stepped a midfielder who struck the penalty low and hard but Mendil did well getting down to block the shot before the in rushing man skied his second attempt.  Another key moment came when the visitors tall wide man wearing 11 with a hefty challenge that was so late it was better measured using a calendar than a watch!  He was very lucky to only be booked.

The game remained evenly balanced and the booked chap showed good control just before the half before dragging his low shot across goal and wide.  Both coaches will have been looking to gain the upper hand at the break and it seems Lemetayer did a better job when he saw his side have a good effort deflected wide in the 47th minute.  The game was still on a knife edge when Matteo Visser got a goal his play deserved getting past a defender well before running in and popping the ball past the exposed keeper.  The hosts held the lead longer second time around but five minutes later the 11 again did well finishing into the bottom right corner to make it 2:2.

The game remained open and a rattled visitor was booked for dissent.  In the 86th minute the home side broke with three men but Visser and 12 just failed to take advantage.  That wasn’t the last chance however as in the 92nd  a defender deftly half volleyed a corner goalward from the far side over the keeper but not past a red shirted defender on the line!

So for the second season in a row the home players and fans prepared for penalties.  Leading off the blues scored then Didi saved the visitors first.  A blue then missed just wide before four hit the net.  Didi got a strong hand to the next but it went in off the post making it 3:3 with both sides have taken four.  At 5:5 a blue skied their sixth spot kick.  Knowing he could win it the reds number 11 stepped up but Didi had other ideas diving to his right and knocking away his low well struck effort.  Visser put his shot to close to the keeper so again the visitors had the chance to avoid an upset.  However, Mendil saved his fourth penalty of the night!  Both number 12’s scored before blue number 14 put away the next one coolly as if messing about in the park with his mates…  This time the pressure was on the red 14 knowing he had to score to keep them in the competition.  Facing Didi he skied it and the big keeper dashed gleefully to his onrushing teammates.  After being heartbroken last year the big lad was the hero and that’s exactly what Coupe competitions are all about.

14 Days and counting

We are now 14 days into the Covid-19 lockdown.  Susan and I are both fine and we’re pretty sure the cat still hasn’t noticed any difference!

Apart from it trying to snow yesterday – whacking big flakes at times – I know SNOW!  S didn’t believe me when I said.  It didn’t lie and eased off by mid afternoon.  Otherwise the weather has remained good and we continue to feel fortunate that we are not cooped up in a basement flat in Dundee or somewhere equally exotic…

There was another Not Going Out event Thursday last with a few more people joining in to everyone’s benefit.

S had the most recent trip to the shops which she found a little un-nerving as more people were wearing gloves and masks.  I put a bit about French fitba on my Sports Writing Facebook page.  My birthday was quiet – unsurprisingly – and we are both still working.

The highlight today was – I hope for both of us – a stroll out together as the sun was heading down in the west.


Romance lives on..

Hang in there and if you are struggling speak to or message someone.  They may be toiling too…
Stay safe all and go wash your hands!

Lockdown Life

Hey.  It’s been a while.

To wrap up 2019 we continued in a similar vein, me working on-line and S doing a lot on the DIY. Progress was made on all fronts. The winter meant getting the wood burner in the living room going and at times the three of us being too hot! The cuisinier worked better too as we’ve got the hang of it and had better drier wood. You may remember we couldn’t get any till November in 2018.

My work continued and I made more money than planned, S’s stuff with Gites was slower despite her efforts but she learned a lot. Mitzy continues to not pay her way, something we have talked to her about! S, not Mitzy, continued going to Art on Sundays and we kept up the French classes, more S than I. She’s better at reading and can guide in delivery men to our wee hamlet, while I bumble through blethering in my usual fashion. Football wise I wrote quite a bit for a website called French Football Weekly so you dear reader are spared much of that here. Suffice to say Limoges FC died as an entity but the supporters club monthly meals continue, I pop along now and again and confuse them with my attempted French.

We spent a cracking day with my old Dondeh Uni pal Paul, Leiza and their lovely girls in Agen. The day topped off by seeing the car in front had a very domesticated looking pigeon riding on its parcel shelf. As we agreed no-one would believe us Paul and co appeared and also ended up behind said Dacia!

Crimbo was less Spartan than the last and we like everyone else looked forward to a new year of further progress.


Fast forward to today, March 23rd or day 6 of Covid-19 lockdown here in France.

The blossom is out on the trees, the sun shining, birds are singing and our bit of the Haute Vienne is as peaceful as always. The minimal traffic has reduced a little and our neighbours gardens are showing the effect of more work as people hunker down for however long it takes to help manage the spread of the virus.

The virus was more in our minds than most as I teach mainly Chinese and Taiwanese adults and children. Thus, I was aware of the shutting down of much of China and my employers were proactive in helping us get handwashing and similar messages out to our students. I had a double class with a 9 year old Taiwanese lad and an 8 year old Chinese girl which began with him saying “Everyone in China has it, they are lying to us” they got extra time as I made clear to him that wasn’t true and did my best to calm the poor lass. ☹

Many of my pupils are enjoying going out and about again and the adults indicate that life is returning to near normal but with more temperature checks and altered working practises. The situation can improve if we work together. 😊

As you can tell I continue to teach on-line and have a regular tutoring pupil in Saint Yrieix. S’s work has of course been affected by the virus but this is not a problem. I had a late winter cough which became a chest infection as I get used to French germs but now am back to normal. We have continued the DIY mainly with S doing almost all of it. The spare room is now looking rather good the pink carpet removed and the cherry wood floor looks rather better. I’d just reached a point that returning to the football was an option and they cancelled it all. Ho hum.

Covid-19 wise we have like the rest of the British immigrant community looked on with horror as the UK failed to act either promptly or adequately… For example tonight the Prime Minister Edouard Phillippe – second to President Macron – was answering questions live on the main news. I doubt Raab could do that properly…

As regards Lockdown tips here are a few.

  • Toilet roll is not currency here or anywhere else so dinnae buy it aw!
  • Get a haircut before lockdown or like me it’s going to get long and shaggy…  Ok, as I post this the Blonde Bombscare is taking action.  get your clippers out!
  • Use the extra time you have fruitfully, books can be read or listened to for free on modern gizmo’s.
  • Do art or something that stimulates you and yours – I’ll leave what up to you!
  • S not content with adding to her knowledge of French birds has been checking out butterflies and caterpillars too. Being rural and having half an acre we have creatures we don’t see but only yesterday she was regaling me with facts about the different, erm, calling cards of some of the visitors. That girl knows shit!
  • Last Thursday via Facebook I hosted a NOT GOING OUT event. More than 40 people and families from locally, elsewhere in France, the UK, Spain and even Estonia all had little soirees at 8 that night together but very much apart. Another is happening this Thursday tho we’re not sure if any more hot tubs will be filled for the occasion this time…
  • Pals have had a Chez Nous Night In restaurant trip which was also fun.
  • The more vigorous among you may be interested in yoga or keep fit there’s lots on-line apparently, we’ve the garden to wander and mow so I can dodge that!
  • Otherwise avoid everyone which some may relish and others dread. However, the differences between acting and not are pretty obvious.

Wee man

Made in lovely Gwen’s Art class – painted in lockdown

Stay lovely and safe in equal measure.
John, Susan and Mitzy

back door

PS – Mitzy thinks this is the back door and waits here not on the suntrap that is the front step.

Limoges FC’s ups and downs



Is there a linesman in the house???

Well I’ve written some more and now have all the bits I’ve done linked under my name on frenchfootballweekly.com which is very decent of them.

Here’s the latest.


The scoreboard reset before the pitch cleared of players at Feytiat!  Teehee

The next bit will be about the Coupe de France.  Hopefully there will be more about Limoges FC…

Gardening News


There are no prizes for guessing…


… why …


… we’ve invested …


… in a new …


… lawn mower!


Thus we’d been looking for a better lawn mower option…

We got a new petrol driven one at a good price and it was duly assembled and yanked into life.  🙂  All was good, it started, it stopped.  No problems.

The weather is rarely an impediment to doing outside stuff so after some work I had a wee go and the damn thing wouldn’t turn off…  Somewhat negating the safety feature of the red handle.


The engine wants tae take it!

Anyway, it ran out of petrol eventually sitting quite happily running while I blethered with the neighbour about our plan to let a bit of the garden go a bit wild.  We’ve seeds and are going to try and have a wee bit of mini flowery meadow on one side of the house.  It’ll mean less mowing for me and more food for his bees.


It was logical

Anyway we’ve worked out what the problem was and the rest of the grass will be cut with all the safety features of the mower operational…

Those who know me will not be surprised.  I’m not that technical, not with these nails…   The moral of the story is look at the picture in the instructions!  🙂

Anyway, next time the update will be longer with tales of my international business exploits and S’s sterling work decorating.

Till them.  🙂




Lately we’ve been beavering away and blogging has been down the list of stuff needing done – apologies.


Rush Hour in La Fayolle

Cuisinier man or not?  I hear you cry…

After no contact and another visit or four/five were attempted to the two shops providing – tho we had no evidence at all that they are nothing other than a front for some daring do – said services as it appears often to be the case they were oot…

Urgency had been added to the mix as we sourced a wood burner for the living room and the cuisinier had started emitting smoke and/or dribbling from every orifice!  Having cast our net wider one e-mail query was utterly ignored while following another – a Brit – arrived and tho showing willing didn’t fill us with hope regarding his level of expertise.  Having given up on the first place, who I’d thrown myself at the mercy of once I’d recovered from the shock of there being someone to talk to in the shop, we were we feared no further forward.

HOWEVER, (brace yourselves), the very same day the Brit appeared as planned a man from shop one not only appeared but was knowledgeable and helpful.  He showed me how to partly dismantle the cuisinier to clean it and having had a good old poke about in the living room and taken pictures up our chimney (!) departed saying he’d do a quote for fitting the wood burner.  As you both can imagine we were shocked, stunned and a little confused that our combined efforts using visits, e-mails and at times smoke signals that we needed a hand had been answered by not one but TWO – count them… un, deux – two cuisinier people in only four hours.  After we’d checked the date on the cheeses and pinched ourselves several times, we were pretty sure that this turn of events had not been some kind of group hallucination or symptom of a mental breakdown and had actually occurred.

There then followed a medium sized amount of rejoicing…

Contact made, and no doubt as there are Euro’s to be made, progress continues on getting things sorted for the wood burner and the cuisinier is again behaving itself.

Travels with Furniture

Mainy in Maine.jpg

Mainy in Maine

As alluded to above we got a bargain wood burner and flue parts – which was able to be got in the car – from a little south.  It was misty so we didn’t get to savour what was likely to be a marvellous view from their former home.  Pottering back as it was the weekend le Chasse chaps were out in their orange camouflage jackets.  The hunters – cos that’s what they are – hang about by roadsides and to our knowledge never shoot anything tho they do bang away a bit.  It must be the case they get the odd deer or boar but we’ve never seen any signs of success.  They are a fixture in these parts often looking a bit bored or driving in convoy to another hunting ground.  They apparently let the dogs go flush the prey, tracking the hounds with collar things and technology…  Which strikes us as a little unfair.

Anyway, with wood burner rattling musically in the back, we were nearly home when in the mist saw some of the hunters loitering in woods by the roadside.  Thinking nothing of it we continued, a little slower cos of the slightly reduced visibility.  When across the raised road came three running deer from one field to the next unhindered by dogs, hunters or a care in the world.  Our position was much less carefree as two dashed across our path and the third thought better of it and doubled back.  We took the appropriate steps me braking as we both nearly soiling ourselves coming within centimetres – and not many at that – of the third.  They’d been hidden by bushes and in other conditions namely us going a little quicker two would probably have been hit and killed before the car behind us rammed us up the, erm, flue!!!  This is a hazard of rural living and despite quite a scare we remain on the side of the wildlife rather than of their gun wielding foes.

Going north to the hamlet of Maine – no really – we picked up a nice little pine unit thing with a wine rack in it.  Why S thought we needed that element to it I don’t know!  This was a shorter trip and made easier by one of our other longer runs being that way.  S took advantage of the spell of lovely weather we had to take it outside, sand it, wax it and paint the top in a stylish and cool fashion.  Turning a decent piece into a better one, well done her.  😊

Eerie sky

Weird Sky

Above you can see an odd sky we happened across on one of our excursions.  it was in the east as the sun was heading westward and is no doubt some legit meteorological phenomenon and not aliens!  It looked weirder in the flesh (not that we stripped naked in it’s praise, it’s not that warm yet!) our phone camera’s didn’t do it justice.

A sideboard came to us which we built with remarkably little swearing and that still remains both functional and erect!  Pleasingly an item that co-ordinated nicely came available so we headed south to Drome which is a Plus Beau village perched on a rocky hilltop overlooking the Dordogne river.  Properly lovely it was on a glorious sunny day and we collected a large chest of drawers which – practised as we are – fitted in the car.  S pointed out the chap we got it from was wearing a City of Edinburgh sweatshirt not that I’d noticed.  It turned out he’d got it from a pal who was a bin man but who’s retired down there – there’s clearly brass in the muck!  The chest of drawers previous home was the most modern of the places we’ve picked up things from and tho in the village was in the newer less beau bit.  We lunched in the only place that was open – who were surprised to have customers on their first day of the year – and unlike others were not turned away.  I had fish and chips and S chips.  The walled village is gorgeous and no doubt the vibe will be different when hunners of folk are dawdling around it in the summer.

We also got a wee box thingy and now have the basic level of French TV which are not in the habit of watching yet.

International Business News!

I am – mainly due to S’s cleverness – a microentrepreneur and am back plugged in on-line English teaching.  As I’m registered we are sorting out a bank account and stuff and I look forward to paying a little in tax and social charges.  I picked up the knack again pretty quickly and have been putting some hours in to get back up to speed to have some dosh coming in for a change.  We’re ok moneywise but the delays early on and minor hold up’s here and there have meant the time without income was longer than planned.  As long as the Chinese Middle Class are doing ok we’ll be fine.




We’ve been stripping – or mainly S has cos I’ve been working – some charmingly quaint wall paper.  I discovered that my large hands can remove on more than one occasion a whole piece floor to ceiling in a oner which helped.   Not all came off that easily and this quest continues.  S is painting bathroom tiles as I type in the only room which had wall paper on the ceiling.  It doesn’t now.

There will be a before and after Grand Designs/Country Life style blog update when rooms are done.  Try to contain your collective excitement!


Our wee scamp – or as our neighbour described cats vagabond – has adjusted nicely.  She  got the hang of scampering up behind me as I opened the windows to shut the shutters and buggering off outside in a couple of leaps.  She’s had a couple of meetings with the other cat which came to blows on one occasion.  S was stripping and I was rooted to the spot teaching so S had to drop everything and go see what was happening.  Mitzy was fine – which is more than can be said for a few lizards who live in and around the concrete outside the front of the house.  A few more are now tailless after she’s gleefully brought them in to show S in the kitchen and to play with them.  Only one we know about was been despatched.


Mitzy soaking up the rays

The concrete out front is south facing and warms up nicely in the sun.  This is something we’ve taken advantage of – three times so far – plonking ourselves down in the sun with mini-Magnums as reward for something or other.  A February tan was almost a thing tho various people including our neighbours across the road made clear the ten days of great weather was abnormal, they only usually get a day or two like that.


Checking I’ve not dribbled chocolate on my face!


S has been working hard on various paperwork and admin things as well as processing her first gite booking.  It is clear that many Brits are holding fire on booking trips due to the nationalist driven BS that is Brexit and many a gite is sitting un-booked across France.  I have however proven to be more adept at dealing with French phone calls than paperwork so we are a good team.

S got her hair done without calamity especially after she realised the chair was giving her a massage and she wasn’t having some sort of fit.  We’ve started French lessons in a class of mainly Brits but with a Brazilian and a smattering of other nationalities.  Bernadette our 85 year old tutor is quite a character but good at what she does.  Coffee after is dominated by the same conversation about what the B word means to us all as the UK’s politicians plumb new depths in cackhandedness and ineptitude making what’s know as a Grayling of the whole effing thing…

We’ve been along to a couple the English speaking immigrant groups events which were good and it’s a little odd to be defaulting to English rather than French.  We continue to potter along with increasing efficiency in the lingo.



Both regular viewers will remember we on our previous stay we visited the scene of the largest Nazi atrocity hereabouts – at Pont Lasveyras.  It was the 75th anniversary the other week and in Paysac which we’d gone on a wee drive to there was an exhibition which was very interesting.  We ended up talking to the organiser for about twenty minutes about it and the support provided by the Special Operations Executive to the locals who were under daily threat.  Rather brilliantly the RAF dropped supplies with red, white and blue parachutes around Bastille Day!  There was a ceremony in SYlP to the residents who died there and despite me loitering at the back I ended up being in the pic in the local paper the next day.


Stop Cock!

Gru’s Again

The whacking great birds that migrated north to Poland in October came past on their way south again in equally impressive numbers.  According to the local paper that’s indication of an early spring.  It may also be another hefty hint that the poorer folk of the planets next few generations may be in for a tough time not that that’s the birds fault…


Many, many big birds

We were out and about as several flocks/groups/flights paused over SYlP to get their bearings before forming up in V shapes and heading off honking encouragement or gossip or whatever at each other as they do.

I will be making a quick visit to the old country from Sunday to Tuesday – to say farewell to Alec Condie.  He put up with me at the fitba over much of the last 30 years and his passing was an upsetting surprise.


Alec (right), some numpty and his son Graeme (left)

The silver lining to a large cloud will be seeing, briefly my Dad, Debra S’s sister and our brother in law as well as a more than a few pals wearing black…

Happy New Year!

After Xmas we continued to potter along without the visit of a cuisinier man. In fact I took the drastic steps of visiting the other shop and arranging a specific appointment with another specialist for the 4th of January. I provided S’s French mobile number and even went back to check what state was best for the visit, namely cold and not burny hot. Pleased that was sorted we got on with things…

Xmas dafties.jpg

Xmas dafties!

Returning a shower curtain and rail that we’d decided against trying to put up I managed to get a credit note at one place and also got money back after we bought a microwaveable dish that was beyond it’s best before date both in French. A cooker is meant to be being delivered today (22nd) but as it’s snowing – not a lot – we think this may not happen. The weather has taken a wintery turn despite Trump and his mentalist Oil & Coal fans efforts and the thermometer in the back bit of the house cheerily gives S reasons not to be moving wood around at times.


Someone didn’t like her harness…

Otherwise the smaller and more charming part of the threesome has been getting more and more access to the world. Without a lead but supervised for the first time she stalked a shrew that even now is no doubt blissfully unaware of how close to peril it was. Next time she actually caught one and I’ll admit to being a bit slow on working out what the high pitched squeaking was… Namely it was another no doubt cousin of shrew number one which managed to escape aided by my and much to the annoyance of a certain feline. She is being let out the back and in the neighbours garden was startled by him and dashed superfast, tail up for the back door which we thought was a good sign. Being a fan of the world the cat – rather than us with hate, Govt murder and general fuddery based on non-existent differences filling the news – she took it upon herself to play what she’d call “I’m going out now” and I named something altogether less wholesome. Her leaping silently up at windows, which need to be opened to close the shutters, often her arrival being a complete surprise. I won the game of unknown name several grabs to  nil much to her annoyance. This prompted us to utlilise the wooden and clearly decades old ladder to oil the hinges of the shutters giving Little Miss Steve McQueen no warning of what I’m up to. The ladder was first tested flat on the ground before I skipped up said. I’m almost as daft as I look but not quite!

Mitzy is often at the window when we return from wherever and once we though heavy eyelids had barred her but no! A lizard no doubt drawn to the warmth of our as yet not serviced but functioning cuisiner had got into the kitchen. Mitzy was bless her more than happy welcome it with both open jaws and claws. I managed to get said reptile into a piece of kitchen roll and liberated it outside thinking it had recently lost it’s tail. On my return while M began a short huff I noticed said tail twitching with some vigour on the floor. It was, three inches long not much shorter than the lizard outside who will no doubt be telling his pals that tails are “So last very year…”


Big van!

Our Facebook monitoring lead to the spotting of a very reasonably priced wardrobe that matches out current one. It wasn’t so far away and we set off hoping that the fact it came in three parts would make it transportable. En-route we went through another La Fayolle which was a little bit of a surprise and after some careful work from an ex-removal man seller we got the wee bits inside the car and the bigger bit onto the roof bars. We seemed to fascinate, other drivers, cyclists and pedestrians on the way back though they may of course have been gazing longingly at such a fine figure of man that is me rather than the whacking great wooden box on the roof. Arriving home we feared that we may have caused our neighbour JC injury splitting his sides watching us try to get the thing back off the car and into the house. Tensioned hooked bungey cord things are dangerous and despite our inexperience we managed to have them release at a time of their choosing without injury to person nor property but only just… If a passenger door had been shut we could have been paying for a new window! Anyway, the wardrobe survived a very sweary arrival as did we so that’s the main thing. It meant that clothes in hanging boxes could go into it and was another step forward. After New Year we rented a medium sized van which S drove really rather well to collect our bargain Armoir from the lovely Australian woman who provided us with a wee pot of paint in case of damage and some chutney! This was hoiked into the house without much swearing at all and no need for the wee pot of paint. 😊


M approves

Talking of New Year we took advantage of it being an hour earlier and having no access to Jools Holland which was fine by us. On New Years Day we experimented with walking into town, which was easy and the British place was open for a fortifying hot chocolate and juice before our efforts to have a look in a white good shop window were foiled by a couple of large and vocal dogs who didn’t take kindly to first footers.


You can see why we want it looked at!  #fakeflames

On the 4th of January we made sure the fire was cool for five and no-one came despite the appointment. By six we’d given up and started the fire in the cuisinier and despite that no-one turned up.  This could run and run…

What more will January bring? Is threatening violence to cuisinier men acceptable? Will Skippy and his pals save the kid that’s fallen down the mine shaft? Some of these questions may be answered next time…


Treemendous Adventures!

Before you ask … Still no chap to look over the cuisinier…

Otherwise progress continues…  Replacement bank cards were due to leave France as we left the UK, unsurprisingly the Bank needed new address details. Initially we had no address then no paperwork but boxes were ticked and new ones ordered, just in time to stop the staff at the Post Office from running at the very sight of us. Domestically we continued to get bits and bobs done, for example S fixed the wobble on the bathroom sink while I continue to shift wood in a broadly systematic way from one place to another so it was drier and more convenient before sitting it in a pretty pile by the cuisinier. We in honour of my northern isles heritage give the wood a Viking send off. The fire has not been required to be going all the time tho the weather will get cooler. AND we will soon be in possession of a card for the Dechetterie – local tip/recycle centre – having provided ID on our first visit again the EDF bill golden ticket did the job.


SYlP Marie

Operating as we are without TV we were spared much of the frenzied guff in the build up to Xmas. I realised that I miss watching the The Rachel Maddow Show and the Norse Code (Minnesota Vikings) podcasts both of which I used to access on-line. S can’t think of anything she particularly misses yet. We have many a movie and a few boxsets we could watch but aren’t unpacking as if we do we’d have to repack them prior to re-wiring. We listen to local French radio news as best we can and S scans the UK news headlines on her phone to find out about nationalism driven farces like Brexit or further SNP cuts… When we pause for our regular grand café crème and a coca at The Joker café in SYlP I scan the local paper which helps local information wise. Things we used to watch on TV most often like Grand Designs, Impossible Engineering, house programs like Dick Strawbridge’s and A Place in the Sun have less fascination as we are sort of living elements of them most days. Tho we aren’t in a caravan for our second December and I may not shaving everyday but a handlebar moustache is someway off!


Limoges goes big on decorations

We had a couple of road trips, one north to look over a Gite S will be managing the reservations for. It being some distance away we set off and spent much of lunch time in the charming property which would be great for a family to holiday in (and a reassuringly safe distance from me!). We returned via Angouleme where we could have a non-lunchtime lunch. On our last trip I’d seen a pair of charming buttocks through a stylish and particularly revealing dress a young woman was wearing! That unusual record was not maintained this trip tho it is winter and hope springs eternal for a similar vision next time…



Our other trip combined a day out in Limoges with a detour to see a great bit of furniture which we bought before heading for the city. We saw a convoy of Gendarmes lights a flashing heading into the centre ahead of us – the Prime Minister Eduoard Phillippe was in town having visited SYlP earlier in the day. We reckon it was for him not to monitor us. We pottered about in rain less than we might and had a good lunch – yes I had duck – in a place where the BFM news channel was showing lines of Police facing gilet jeune protestors about a hundred metres away from us. They interviewed a chap who we saw later progressing his efforts to bring down the State by visiting the Xmas Market! We then meandered through said market where some damp shoppers were buying from chilly stall holders. S had also been looking for a coque – a case for her new French mobile – without success. She decided to look on-line tho chose the wording of her Google search carefully.


Telt ya!

Only a few boxes have been emptied, as I explained, but they were deposited in the loft with the Xmas tree as we went with the backup we had last trip and we don’t have a socket spare! Having heard that there are more than the average number of Jehovah’s Witnesses in the area – sometimes there are two sets at the market positioned in some sort of static pincer movement – we put a compact and bijou festive decoration on the front door.

The aim being to allay any fears among our neighbours of recruitment between now and the end of humanity… The other great Xmas tradition of standing in a queue to send parcels at the Post Office is undertaken here too and our offerings were dispatched in two waves with at time of writing mixed results.


Not our trees…

The Forestiers had put up warning signs on the road thru La Fayolle and got busy chopping down the relatively few large trees in the lower lying field at the end of our back garden. This was not a concern and unlikely to happen again for about forty years tho Mitzy did wonder a little at the strange noises. I one evening was moving wood and wandered to the end of the garden a little surprised to see the large trees on next doors boundary had been taken down. Two trees of theirs remained by our garden with double red lines painted on them, also red lined were two trees in the field. Glancing along the line of trees in our garden I was horrified to see that three of them also had been spray painted in similar fashion! This was of course a worry, firstly cos they were in our garden and secondly if someone, well meaning or otherwise chops down a whacking great tree they only take thirty or forty years to replace like for like. After a closer examination we photographed, as best we could said red lines in the growing darkness and seeing no sign of life in either neighbouring property popped across the road to JC in an effort to learn what we could about the practices of French men with chain saws. Explaining the same markings were on trees in the field and two gardens he and his wife were equally concerned and gave us a couple of pointers regarding what words to use as we were planning to make signs to stick on our trees…


One of ours…

Having returned from our eleven months in France to discover an idiot tenant had chopped down a large, pretty and perfectly healthy flowering cherry tree we did not want to fall foul of unfettered felling again. I then went to speak to our neighbour Mr F whose mothers house is now ours. Despite it being relatively early he was semi dressed and I found the pictures on his wall fascinating until this situation was rectified. Both going out with torches he was equally concerned at two red lines perhaps meaning the chop, surprised as he was by the large trees being taken down at our other neighbour’s. He said he’d come with me to speak to the Forestiers the next morning. A little later I popped to the neighbours on the other side, who’d been out. I was concerned that in the dark they hadn’t noticed the disappearance of four or five large trees that may be their property! Thankfully Mrs neighbour said her husband had talked to the woodsmen and they knew the now missing trees were going down. She was however alarmed that the two remaining trees meant to remain had the same double red lines as some of ours and most ominously others in the field.


And another of ours!

Next morning we were up early in case having to fend off chain saw wielding chaps was required. Mr F and I met and I traversed the somewhat churned up field towards the earliest arrival of the cutting crew. He thankfully was able to confirm that two red lines meant DON’T cut down and that no-more felling was to take place. I didn’t query why some trees were being left but was, as was Mr F, more than chuffed that we’d not have to go all rampant environmentalist, aka Swampy, in the face of vandalism. This was a massive relief and JC was also pleased when I updated him the next day. We’ve since been told two red lines often means use for construction … we’ll never know if that was or wasn’t the plan here.

In other more relaxed topiary news I pruned and trimmed our trees and shrubs out the front making them a bit more presentable. An issue with having half an acre is you have to do a bit of this sort of thing and don’t want someone wandering along chopping down your trees while you are off getting a baguette.


Tidied up.

Prior to the garden tidy up we had a visit from the Pompiers (the combined Fire & Ambulance service) not about our cuisinier – still no sign of him yet… The chaps in dark blue sell a calendar each year. Knowing this them appearing one morning was no cause of panic – apart from on the part of Mitzy who is adjusting slowly to living in a house with a functioning door bell. You pay however much you want for the calendar and they give you a receipt. Rumours that the more you pay the more likely they are to pitch up in a crisis with the blue lights going are of course not true.

The day after the SYlP Gendarmes were dealing with the visit of the Prime Minister there was an even more famous chap in town – Santa! He was borne with excited youngsters by a horse drawn carriage and followed by locals and a band who among other things played the Lions Sleeps Tonight which I think should be a Christmas song.

Limited as we are socket wise a seven course Xmas day nosh was impossible but we or rather S did a great job all the same. In France the big feed is normally on the 24th but did it on the 25th. I had strips of duck done on the George Forman and S had a savoury pancake of her as much as she could own making.


Looks like cake, was ice cream… What a country!

Next year I want to try the small black pudding like sausages wrapped in bacon you can get locally, S is less keen on them… It was a gorgeous day here and we set off for a walk around the block – which is just over 5 kilometres.


Xmas walk

It was the first Noel wander I’ve done without a jacket and wearing shades. It was colder for our last French festives. Anyway, we wandered along waving at the six, count them six cars we saw in just over an hour.


Things could be worse…

We went past what was clearly the home of the Brit who had popped by previously to say hello as he was hosting quite a get together in the sunshine. We bonjoured the youngsters with their kids and then surprised them by wishing them merry Christmas in English. We could have probably gate crashed and got a few crisps and a glass of something but wandered on seeing a gambolling deer before we returned to see a certain cat at a window…


Clearly Mitzy wanted to join us but she’s only slowly being introduced to the garden especially as when she was out with S on her fetching pink lead they met another cat. M quickly took steps to defend her territory and our honour despite the limits on her mobility of a startled S. The low growling from our wee grey feline was not her being choked by the harness as S for a moment feared.


Where’s you been?!?

Up to the 15th December

The more astute and gorgeous of you will remember that at the end of the last missive we were without hot water and were awaiting a visit from a person to give our cuisinier the once over. Our loo was working and the plotting of the re-wire was on track.

The next couple of weeks saw progress in many directions and at differing pace. We arranged a visit from our lovely agent and the electrician who had provided a quote following our Survey – the result of which was a reduction in the price paid for our wee maison.  He, the electrician, went over the quote and we discussed a couple other elements (puns are rarely accidental) and how we could plug the gaps (told you) in the current (another) facilities. Understanding it was the lead up (boom!) to Xmas we were not shocked (somebody stop me) to hear the start date for works would be the 10th of January. Understanding the position we were not brought down to earth (number six) by this news but a little excited or wired (!!!) at this being a big step forward. Remember we are operating with four sockets, one used by the heating and one that had not been utilised in the extension out back.


Little old lady bath

The electrician undertook to speak to a plumber regarding getting a new water tank/heater being  put in sooner. Our charming agent returned a couple of days later with said plumber. He until then had been better known to me as a combative midfielder, sub and twice stand in physio for Saint Yrieix la Perche Football Club during the time I watched them four years ago. This was cause of a little embarrassment on his part and initially some confusion on our agent’s. She had been along both times cos as yet S and I are not as good at technical French as we could be. The plumber undertook to return two days later at nine. He pitched up at eight thirty and by noon we had a lovely new hot water tank in place, using the until then redundant plug until the re-wire is done. Hot water is a better option than cold and it meant we could use our little old lady bath that featured in the Facebook page competition. Congratulations Ewan for winning that and apologies to all for the picture used which I will not share again.


It’s wee!

As you can see our bath is small, with a two tier sort of seat bit. The plumber gave us an idea of the cost of a cabine de douche which is a phrase that must have been used by Del Boy to Rodney et al at some point. We are holding fire on splashing out (don’t worry I’m not starting again) on that until after the re-wire and other things are more settled. In the meantime S has less of an issue mechanically with using the little old lady bath than I do, her not being six foot two! There is however a knack to it and we are becoming much better at soaking ourselves and not the rest of the room.

The electrician and plumber had each turned up on time, confounding those who believe stories of French tradesmen. In fact my pal the plumbers bill was a chunk under what he initially said the cost would be then as I tried to pay him 25 cents more than we owed him he rounded the figure down by almost ten euros. Meanwhile we’ve heard hide nor hair of the chap – he’s no-doubt a chap as a woman would be more conscientious – who’s meant to be looking over our cuisinier.

Social life wise we were horrified to be invited for an aperitif by the nice bloke from across the road. He only draws from his limited English when we are struggling badly in French. Anyway, we toddled across the road avoiding the non-existent traffic and spent a few hours blethering with him and his wife. She speaks next to no English but having retired from the local Agricultural College had been to Scotland as it is twinned with Oatridge in West Lothian. They are a lovely couple and despite mainly my efforts to ruin their fine language have remained chatty and friendly since. We’ve also introduced ourselves to most of the other neighbours when the opportunity arose. Three doors down is a charming woman who greeted us like old pals in the Post Office the other day – she also tipped us off about the three visits a week from the bread van.


Cool reindeer

We also went to the Connect Xmas bash. Connect is group for mainly British and Dutch immigrants (aka ex-pats) in the wider area. We went to something on our last visit and ended up sat by a chap who it appears has rather a reputation. This visit was much more successful and once we’d adjusted to talking English we had quite a laugh with three other members. There was carol singing which wasn’t as strong as the mulled wine was or so S told me. We did however appear awfully young in comparison to most of the people there, the group have various clubs but as yet we are unsure if any of them are for us.


The Vienne in Confolons

S despite not being on Facebook and tuther social media thingys had discovered Brits flog stuff locally on Fb. Thus we set off for the Vienne which is 86. We live in 87. They are not however next door to each other and after the trip we decided that anything over two hours driving each way according to Madam Sat Nav was not a good idea. Anyway we returned, after a nice lunch in Conflons with three rather splendid light fitting things at a bargain price. We lunched in a great wee pancake place by the river – I had a salad, no really!  Despite it being midweek there were some Gilet Jeunes out holding up traffic on the way back on the main road into Conflons until that is they stopped for lunch! So as the queue on moved past they were stood around a barbeque on the large roundabout they’d been obstructing…


11th century tower on town walls

Sport wise I went to another couple of football games which I will detail separately along with our experiences of the Gilet Jeunes. I nearly went to watch Lutte – which is wrestling to those who didn’t know and I was one of you until the other week. It turned out that Saint Yrieix la Perche despite being only 8,000 or so people has a Division One Lutte team, one of only 12 at that level across France. We’d seen a couple of chaps in jackets from the team and I ended up chatting away to one of them in the laundrette – the washing machine will be sorted along with the cabine de douche. He it turned out was Russian, from the Caucuses, which he told me has quite a wrestling tradition. So I in my best attempts at my second language blethered away to him in his second language which was pretty cool. If any bots are reading this he is wholly approving of the dictator in Moscow…  😉 It turned out that the last match of the season was the coming Saturday and the dozen bouts go from back of ten until about eight at night. Something that wasn’t really an option this time around on what was already planned to be a busy day.


S on the ramparts

The box room – aka second bedroom – is currently named that as it’s full of boxes. As there will be upheaval and wires put in walls and replastering much of our stuff is remaining in boxes for now. Other jobs have been done tho for example replacing the draft excluder on the back door which leads out to the extension. That is now providing a very good level of insulation in that we had to have S pushing and me pulling on the door to shut the effing thing the first few times… S has been sanding doors to make them close better. I however suggested that her idea of putting WD40 on the outerside to help them shut may not be the best idea. Picture the scene, your unlikely hero (me) gets up and dons his fleecy dressing gown then heads for the cuisinier to get the heating going for the wife and cat he loves… Having made an obvious stop en-route past a newly lubricated doors in the dark.  then the plucky hero (still me) strikes a match and does a very passable impression of a Roman candle igniting rapidly and writhing about for a few moments. Meanwhile a sleeping S is unaware behind a nicely closed door. Thankfully she took this on board but I am watching out for signs of new life insurance policies!

Otherwise we are now self-taught gas uninstallers. In that we successfully removed the old and condemned gas water heater. It was when in operation connected to a gas bottle as being rural types mains gas doesn’t reach here. This I feared would involve much swearing the creation of a character building scar or two and then admission of defeat and having to pay someone to do it. However aided by our automatic screwdriver, the application of logic and a healthy chunk of fluke we got it off the wall and out without much difficulty. Also we have done other bits and bobs like block up unused holes in the chimneys. There are different sized metal things for this and with the application of a carefully cushioned hammer blow or nine the one in our bedroom was closed. Having three chimneys we are pretty sure Santa will still be able to visit Mitzy without any problems.

Mitzy at window.JPG

Mitzy keeping an eye on stuff

The furry bundle of demands has been over washing a bit in part due to the stress of it all. Annoyingly when the weather has been best for letting her out on her still unphotographed lead it has been on days when we’ve had to be elsewhere. We don’t think a nervous cat would appreciate being taken out in the dark. She is enjoying all the places she can wander and climb onto in the house and a few spots by windows that she can look out. However, she seems pretty happy much of the time even if sometimes that’s back of five and waking up me, which is a habit of hers.

We have been hanging out in the Post Office with much of the local population sending pressies and such. We admit to having double taked when one website made very clear “That this seller does not deliver to France mainland” was not a personal slight based on any number of transgressions which were no doubt of my doing… Our surname has so far been Meanland, Minland and Manland but not caused any issues other than mild amusement. In the UK I would on occasion have to correct people who on hearing Mainland said “Maitland” as if I didn’t know my own name.


Chateau at Coussac Bonneval

On Saturday the 15th we got our Xmas on going to two Christmas Markets. One indoors at one of the local High schools which is named after Jules Ferry not Mark Ferry the quality midfielder the Rovers had for a couple seasons. It was cool and a couple purchases were made – nae spoliers!  As is often the case there was a sit down meal too, themed on the twin town Bad Wincheim in Germany. It wasn’t to veggie S’s taste but having a nosh at a thing like this is on our to do list. The Mayor was there and I inadvertently didn’t shake his hand when I could have done… This is unlikely to be an issue as the people at the Mairie were very nice when we popped in on them – claiming my French was good which was more polite than accurate. The other event was in Coussac Bonneval at the Chateau. It was good and populated by lots of round people in that it was cold for us and raining. In fact it was pissing down or as they say here vachement pisse – pissing like a cow!  Lots of the locals seemed to be wrapped in many layers and we wished we had done the same. The nice chap who fixed our loo was by a blazing pizza oven doing pitta breads and even he looked cold and a bit miserable. We exited more rapidly than planned but it was the best option.

More soon – hope you both have a lovely festives!


The First Week

On the 21st November the house purchase was quite fancy with the Notaire chap using a wall mounted screen to go through the documents. All very modern and swanky then we signed on a wee device that was a little more fancy than delivery people brandish nowadays. It turned out that they keys were not with the seller Monsieur F as expected, he’d left them in the back door of what was now our house! They were pleasingly still there. 😊


Happier than we may appear!

As noted in the previous Ramblings we didn’t move in until the 27th having got our furniture on the 22nd. We organised various things in that time, like the upgrading of the quantity of electricity the house gets – I know who knew! Also, the large amount of wood was delivered and firstly shifted under cover before the stacking process began. I hoiked much of the wood into the garage as if an American Football Long Snapper which proved the most effective method! S was rather more gentile in her throwing while that cat didn’t help at all ensconced as she was inside.


We had piles…

The first night was pretty chilly – both heaters were going prior to bedtime. S however ended up being too hot as a result of a combo of her having overdressed and our 16 tog Super King size duvet!


Hot box

I have been playing with fire… Well the Cuisinier, which is like an Aga or Raeburn, namely a whacking get metal cooker and in our case the water heater for the radiators. It’s fed with wood and gets all toasty warm – after a bit – but I’m getting better at teasing it into life. Mitzy has rather pleasingly learnt not to jump on top of it which would be very messy, an example of which we heard about from Kay. Beside the Cuisinier is a central heating pump which Monsieur F had told us would kick in – I was sceptical to be honest but noticed that the radiators had gone from ice cold to not the afternoon after our first night. I kept quiet about said rather than tempt fate but when I returned from doing more wood stacking they had hit the giddy heights of tepid. S was rather pleased!
The pump having kicked in the house is rather different from the time we sent there before moving in – yes the kitchen is warm but the rest of the place no-longer has the coldness it had had from being empty for a couple of years and the radiators are doing a decent job. Thus, we have been able to dispense with one heater and use the other only sparingly – making all rather more pleasant. We arranged after eventually finding the Chauffage (wood-burner/cuisinier shop) attended by a person – not by a sign saying when they would be back – a visit early the following week for it be given the once over. Notification to be made of a time by text. Meanwhile I coax it into life each morning while S remains asleep and M generally demands attention.

Rather than use a condemned gas water heater which could give us the opportunity to see the surrounding area briefly from the air before the inevitable fatal squelch… We decided not too risk it. Thus, we were living rustically with a large kettle from Kay and Paul on the Cuisinier heating up water for the obvious ablutions… This is only sustainable for a short term and the first weekend we headed a little north to Limoges where we had a couple things to do and spent a night in an Ibis Budget where we showered muchly. Sunday night food options were limited and we ended up in a place where a fellow immigrant was behaving a little oddly, new as he clearly was to European norms. He having arrived in France from the south, not the north like us, saw my polite eye contact as an excuse to regale us with info of some sort much of which seemed to be “Na-na-na-na-na”ing. Rather that join in by singing, “Baby give it up, give it up, Baby give it up” and let him continue we smiled and I shook him by the offered hand as we left. (The young reader may need to Google the musical reference on one device or another, the older reader can nod sagely and move on). He seemed a nice bloke but we had no idea what he was going on about.

We received a letter from EDF the electricity people late in the first week – this is akin to a Willy Wonka Golden Ticket! It is that significant, no really it is and I’ll tell you why… Setting up anything more complex than a loyalty card for a supermarket people ask rightly for ID. First on all, I repeat ALL their lists of examples is an EDF bill or document. Getting said golden ticket from EDF is a great help with boring but necessary admin stuff.


Haircut required

The toilet had initially been a faff needing a new large washer. It turned out that was not the only issue and tho it cheerfully dealt with any offerings it didn’t so much flush as dribble constantly in a feeble and annoying way. My efforts to fix it mainly resulted in me using my full range of swearing vocabulary in various combinations, having to stick my hand down it and frankly not much else… We purchased a new flush mechanism and I repeated much of my oathing but didn’t so much fix it as knacker it just a touch more. I am to plumbing what Saddam Hussein was to kitchen design, namely heehaw! Despite the best efforts of a nice chap – who we christened Antoine the toilet man – in the local DIY place who regaled us with tales of standard sized parts we made no progress. Our toilet hole seemed to be bigger than the norm… However, I gave in and cavalry in the shape of a tradesman recommended by a friend saved the day.

Flushed with that success we were able to concentrate on staking wood. I have improved at said during what was a lengthy training program and I can claim to be one step on from Novice. In a couple of years time I’ll no-doubt be a Mother Superior or whatever the right term is, S is making similar advances with all but the biggest bits. No sign however at this point of the Cuisineir man coming.


With a house built in 1973 and lived in since then by a, possibly little, old lady comes old things. Lots of things as expected take a little longer and a few more Euro’s to sort out. We are now, for example, on good terms with a local locksmith. It took five visits to his shop to first order new back door keys then collect them in their new shiny finery then to have them tweaked after they didn’t work. Return to see him and his happy wee dog again he further tweaked them… The last visit was a brief one. When I popped in I’m sure I saw fear in his eyes – those who know me will understand I know that look. However, this stop had been to confirm that they had worked and to thank him again. He was very pleased to see me go. Those who know me will understand I know that look too!

Overall our days have been based on getting things done and many of then take just a little longer than you think they will. This leads to lots of activity, tiredness and on occasion forgetting meals! I eventually remembered to get a haircut at my usual place or rather the one I used last time – about 3 weeks after one was due. The chap said he remembered me and my interest in local football and I did my best to not mangle his language too much during my much-needed visit. S is checking out hair dressing options and may try a different one from last time, watch this soon to be nicely coiffured space!

Despite the non-arrival and or contact of the Cuisinier man gentle progress was been made almost every day in the first week and it appears moving wood and simple semi-rural living is good for your physic. I am it appears one step closer too being an Adonis – a journey which has quite frankly some considerable distance remaining.


Stacked…  And the wood!

Check out the Facebook page for the next fun competition.  The winner of the last one sent this…


She likes her new bookmark

Random pics

Pottering about as we do we happen across things…


Lots of cows here and less mobile versions… This one is obviously on it’s holidays.


Head Cheese doesn’t sound appetising… I think of Green Bay Packer fans – which is preferable to what may be in it…


You heard it here first… BALACLAVA’S are IN this winter! Get your Granny’s knitting them NOW.


This companies rubber gloves are all in different ‘poses’. This was my fave by quite a margin!


It was a pretty sky this evening. This is the view from our front door.

There will be a more wordy update soonish!





Brits Abroad – A True Story

It appears that our car has been dobbing us in – cos it still has a UK number plate and we haven’t yet found our local 87500 black and white pig sticker to put on it.  We’ve had a nice British chap come to the door initially in French and introduce himself saying he lives in the next hamlet and offering any help if required.  We’ve had a Mercedes driver pause to say hello indicating they lived down the road a bit.  We’ve also seen another side, for example the three lads in a car who attracted my attention by shouting “Wayhey!” and offering to do “Any work that needs doing…”  They may be fine and skilled trades-men but their marketing department needs to up its game.


We got wood!

Years ago within yards of where British troops came ashore on D-Day I was in a Supermarket getting a couple of things when a group of four middle aged British men came in.  One announced at the top of his voice, “Don’t speak French!” obviously thinking this was worthy of telling me and the woman on the till.  I spoke less French then but had done my simple transaction in the local tongue.  I’d hate to imagine what the chap would say on arrival at a restaurant, “Don’t like asparagus, makes my pee funny!” or in a Doctors waiting room, “Rash hasn’t gone, cheap prozzies aren’t a bargain!”

WARNING – The next few paragraphs may be best avoided by someone of a sensitive disposition.

The other day at Lidl which is pronounced differently here and often has a range of nationalities pootling around it we paused to let a woman with a trolley go in first.  She smiled but waved us on, well turned out she seemed normal.  Lurking behind her was a chap in a shirt and jeans that needed a belt and hitched up – he didn’t look like a devotee of gangsta chic.

We were only after a couple of things and meandered around the store without a care in the world.  Shirt guy got a call and putting it on speaker started talking loudly in English, with a Yorkshire accent, into his phone five inches in front of his face.  Annoying tho that is it gets better/worse.

He said they were shopping and they had a trolley each then started detailing some medical position which S and I thought a little unnecessary.  After mention of steroids and various things it turned out his comments related to a dog or cat – which was a relief.  He then went on to say the other dogs and cat been wormed, cos of “the little white tape worms”.  The caller – probably unaware she was broadcasting – said something about being careful with them…  Unhindered he went on to say, I quote “I’ve examined my last three stools and could see little white worms”.  He had moments before spent forty-five seconds fondling baguettes until he chose one.  Then announced to most of the shop he had worms!

We were – I feel rightly horrified – and I was more than pleased we’d selected bread from a different section.

End of yucky bit!

S and I, but probably less so Mitzy, understand that we are Expats which is the Daily Mail word for Immigrants when it refers to Brits abroad.  Wherever the Scots/English/Welsh/Northern Irish end up they too are Immigrants, just like people who come to the UK – it’s no different.  It always amused me when newspapers of a certain sort had a banner headline about IMMIGRANTS on the front page and elsewhere on the very same page a picture of a sun lounger and “Pages 15-17 – 10 Tips on Retiring to Spain”


Wood gone!

I hate to think what a Daily Mail or Telegraph journalist could have made of the same events in the UK – “Dirty Foreign Bastards Risk Your Children’s Health” or similar would have screamed from the front page.  Though of course it would have to have happened in Waitrose for any of them to have witnessed it…

There are sadly many Brits who seem to think that they can speak English (with all accents) – often at the top of their voices – and no-one can even hear them let alone understand them…  Clearly behaving in a way that they wouldn’t in the UK.  Even if it’s clear that a person speaks English we do our best to always speak French COS WE ARE IN FRANCE.  We like it when we complete a process or transaction in French with someone who then responds to the next person in prefect English.

Are S and I doing it wrong?  We really hope not…

Anyone seen or heard similar – feel free to unburden yourselves in the comments.

It may like this was be therapeutic!

Sit Rep!

The Facebook page broke 110 likes earlier today and this month the Blog has already had over 300 views – meaning the stats page has had to alter its columns!  🙂
Visitors have gone up and the surprising number of people in Germany, (we know no-one there [perhaps Mitzy does {she’s a rescue cat so you never know…}]), have been eclipsed by those from the UK and around the world.
You are all very lovely people and frankly just a touch better looking than you think you are.

Situation Report
On Wednesday the 21st of November we at last signed to complete the purchase of for our house. The process had dragged on rather due to issues out with our control that no-one we spoke to had ever heard of! However, over three weeks later than planned it was completed…
On the 22nd our furniture, my 1,000+ Rovers programs and our other underwear, clothes, etc., – not necessarily in that order of importance – arrived from Broxburn. Guardian Removals and Storage being great again.
We had to seek and move to other accommodation, more because of the delay than any issues with the lovely Kay and Paul. I’ve already detailed our brief but exciting car problem. Our temporary abode is cool but has had problems with the hot water system which continued despite the very best efforts of our new and rather nice hosts.
Tonight – the 27th – we will be properly in our new house and Mitzy will be adjusting to another new abode but at least this one will be filled with familiar things.

Web access will be limited in the short-term, but more Ramblings will appear so don’t touch that dial!

What’s been going on?

Due to hoose delays and accompanying niggles we had more time to kill while waiting to get started on our new life en France.  Susan returned from up north in her stealth car and we lunched in Limoges at a place we’ve frequented a few times.  She was tired from a long six hour drive and had wisely broken the journey spending a night in La Roche sur Yon which made it more manageable.  Mitzy and I had been very brave surviving her absence.  That evening – without me Limoges FC won a French Cup game meaning they would be likely to face a larger side in the next round.


S was tickled by this on her trip

We wandered about around where we were living in some lovely weather and had a successful trip to Brive, in part to see what large retailers they had with a bit of pottering and a nice lunch.  The plat de jour more than did the job for me.


Much Mustard in Brive

We had been hanging out a bit in the laundrette in SYlP which is handily placed by a good bakers and doing a bit of research regarding stuff we’ll need.  That and me getting back into the swing of a wood burner took up a little time practise made better as one day it tried to sleet!  How very dare it…  Otherwise, however the weather had been rather good, dry and always rather warmer than we are used to in November.  The prisoner of stable block H had a wee trip outside most days on a rather fetching lead, something she got more used to.  No pictures will be displayed as she is less than happy with the process.


We had a wee drive into the Dordogne visiting Exideuil and Thiviers.  We had a snack in the former and S started saying that her pain au chocolat had three, I repeat THREE, bits of chocolate in it as I was realising mine only had one, I REPEAT ONE!  I was cruelly robbed of chocolaty goodness, what a pain…



On the 5th as Mitzy pottered about on her lead we heard sirens – which is very rare.  They stopped and soon re-started.  It turned out a truck climbing the hill had hit a van on the wiggly bit of road between Le Chalard and SYlP.  Sadly the driver of the van was killed.  Seeing the damage to the crash barrier and the pictures on the local papers website the poor guy didn’t stand a chance.  The lorry driver screwed up badly, was clearly going too fast and was well onto the other side of the road.  He was arrested.  I had always taken that bit of road carefully but a few continue to whizz past us on it ignoring the floral tributes for reasons best known to themselves.


SYlP’s lac

The annual Chocolate and Madeline event was visited by us again – Madelines are a produced by quite a number of local shops and a couple of factories around SYlP.  The event has them showing their wares and giving out freebies as well as letting people buy some.  We got a few and left with a reasonable number of extra ones too.  Kay and Paul helped us get rid of them.  🙂

Good stuff eh?  Nosh can be made to look good!

Next we had a trip to Limoges, again with the intention of scouting retailers.  It was a showery and on the way up the wind screen wipers were a little ponderous.  In Limoges itself, during a particularly heavy shower they packed up completely!  This made a short drive in traffic to a place we could stop hair raising to say the very least.  We had lunch as places would be shut for said and were disappointed to discover that they were still next to useless as we drove a short distance to the nearest, small, Renault place.  They couldn’t help us…

So we had to get to another place further away with a comedically random occasional semi-sweep from the sodding wipers.  Normally when conditions are bad everyone has the same problem and drive accordingly – being the only car which had an issue was not an experience to relish.  However, arriving safely and discovering that our French wasn’t enough to detail the issue the large Dealership got a mechanic who spoke some English to establish the problem.  They tended to it while we went to a nearby shopping centre.  During which time we had details of the trivial reason – on the part of the seller – for the house purchase delay confirmed…  The wiper motor was knackered due to a blocked drain flooding the area it sits in – this was something that we had raised twice with UK garages and it had apparently been addressed tho we had always been suspicious that it hadn’t…  Another failing of others not us.

The French garage were however very good and we were able to drive home safely on what overall wasn’t the best of days.


After a few more days of pottering we decided to have a road trip.  Mlle Sat Nav had been silent for a while so we had her guide us to Saint Emilion – known to those who pay a little more for a bottle of red than average.  Having been before when based in Bordeaux we relished the prospect of another visit.  Surrounded by tens of thousands of lines of vines we meandered almost on purpose between them to it through little roads. 


It’s a great wee place, tho may be best avoided by a recovering alcoholic.


The windows of he underground church

It’s a lovely wee village and despite being off season was open and reasonably busy.  There is an underground church which is a must for any visitor and though pictures aren’t allowed is incredible.  We had lunch and I had duck which was rather good.


We had a wander around the lac at Ladignac Le Long which was lovely, ignoring a lone yoga doer thrusting skywards in the public building.  She didn’t see us – she had headphones on – but we were a little taken aback by her vigour!  Most of the municipal lakes have fishing some of the year and often have facilities for general use.  For example you can see I set a new personal climbing record of just over six feet.


Man of action?  Ignore the socks!

As Autumn’s leaves fell Kay and Paul pointed out this whopping hornets nest on their land.  There are some huge ones visible around here!

Back at the ranch I tried popping Mitzy on a tree branch so she could better look around – she didn’t like that at all and jumped down legging it towards the gite.  I was of course forced not only to keep hold of her lead but to follow the fast little bugger for fear of her running away and getting lost.  Susan helped brilliantly with this incident by nearly wetting herself laughing at me…

Above is our new view.  That’s brought things a bit more up to date.  Though there are more stories to share including my quest to get to a Coupe de France match in Limoges.  Oh and tales of buying a house!

5 grounds, 4 games and 13 goals… Football Special

Due to S’s pending travels and our earlier arrival in the Haute Vienne I went to my first French match on the 20th of October, Limoges FC against Poitiers in the National 3. LFC were relegated due to off field problems last season from the National 2. I saw them twice last time we were over and monitored them prior and since. Getting there in plenty time to purchase traditional fayre I saw Alain of the Supporters Club who welcomed me warmly giving me my Membership card, he got a Raith Rovers keyring in return. I accompanied him to the wee area where they are trying to cultivate a bit of noise and was introduced to a number of people. All of them had names which ones was a mystery especially as he introduced someone else later using the wrong name to the amusement of the rest of us.


Sausage, roll, mayonnaise & Coke

There has been a change of squad since last season so no familiar faces from my previous visits. Limoges have been doing ok, conceding few but not scoring many and drawn most of their League games but had progressed in the French Cup which I had hoped they would remain in for me to see. I recognised that their other keeper was playing and was surprised to see a youngster who’d been signed recently starting.

Any first game is about trying to see how a side operate and get an idea about the players. In what ended up being a 0:0 draw I learnt the following. The back-up keeper Cornet made a couple of very decent saves late on, the new youngster Faucher is very decent and playing out from the back is the norm – I ain’t knocking it the French seem not bad at fitba as this summer again proved… The home side couldn’t quite create an opportunity up front but looked reasonably solid across the middle and at the back. I also discovered that I default to French at St Lazare the LFC ground for the basics, allez, bonne, etc.. I was also reminded that French supporters expect to be stirred by the play on the pitch so I already knew that my efforts to encourage are often largely solos!
Limoges FC 0, Poitiers 0 – National 3 – French 5th Tier


Goaless but entertaining

Next as S was away I went to an U16 game Limousin v the Dordogne in Lubersac.  Due to an error in the publicity I arrived in plenty of time for the 2.30 kick off. So much so I was the first person there other than the chap opening the bar and I was pleased to see some players arrive five minutes later. The game kicked off at 3.00 or rather 3.10… By which time I was concerned about the hot sun and had wandered around the pitch watching the youngsters warming up, which they did themselves rather than being instructed by a coach. Three mini-buses had brought guys from the Haute Vienne, Correze and Creuse while the visitors arrived on a coach.

Also I had been approached by one of the coaches – there weren’t more than a dozen fans – who seemed not to fancy the chances of his Limousin side. The players including the visitors right back who looked about 12 were pretty good. A wee lad like him in Scotland would have been dropped/kicked out the game by U16 level but there was no sign of that here. There was lots of playing out from the back and at half time it was 1:1 with the Dordogne side getting a goal back just before the half. Both number 6’s looked good, the visiting one in green was polished and skilful but only passed backwards – he reminded me a lot of Jean Philippe Javary but without the streak of mental genius – whereas the home lad in blue was much more tenacious and direct.

At the half I asked the Limousin coach if their keeper had a hat. He didn’t but wasn’t bothered it appeared at the prospect of playing facing the sun in the second half. Both the coach and I thought he should be more concerned. The home lads continued to do well and scored before being pegged back. Then a sub who’d shown good touches scored the goal of the game running through the middle and jinking past a defender before firing the ball in the top corner from the edge of the box. That more than justified my 4e total expenditure on drinks! As time ran down the greens scored two goals in the last four minutes one of which the Limousin keeper may have been better able to prevent … if he’d had a hat. The defeat I think was a little harsh on the Limousin side who despite being the underdogs matched the visitors throughout.

Limousin U16 4, Dordogne U16 3


JPJ-alike by keeper

During our previous time here, I was a Saint Yrieix la Perche FC regular as they won promotion in the Haute Vienne pyramid – details of which are found in the older updates. Anyway, SYlP FC have struggled of late and having worked with AS Ladignac Le Long on the Youth side of things have sort of merged with them. Thus on a Saturday the 3rd I set off towards Ladignac to see them play and realised – cos I’m stupid – that they would be playing at the SYlP ground which is rather better than the AS L facility. As SYlP came into view I could see the glow up the hill of the lights and arriving a couple of minutes in joined a few dozen fans to watch the game against Chateauneuf Neuvic B.


Back at my old stomping ground

AS L were clearly the better side and looked much more of a threat against the visitors who had a guy my age up front. He was more mobile than me and clearly had a bit experience using his dwindling physical abilities to their maximum. There were few familiar faces in the crowd – a couple of guys I recognised who used to play for SYlP – and I edged towards the bar as the half wound down. A half in which AS L had done everything except score. Being first in the bar I was greeted by a surprised Phillipe who I’d got to know a little during our previous stay. He was behind the bar and is currently the President of SYlP FC mainly it seems for administrative purposes. We had a quick chat before others arrived for a drink and to warm up from what was for them a cool evening.


You can win with Grandads!

The second half brought more control of the game by AS L who made the visiting keeper make save after save. The home custodian had nothing to do and was helpless when a rare cross was deflected to the feet of the erm experienced striker six yards out. He put it in turning away more with a look of surprise on his face than joy. AS L pushed on the last 20 minutes was one way traffic during which the home keeper made a few decent saves and one absolutely brilliant one leaping to his left to touch a vicious strike just over. The visitor’s lone front man was replaced by a guy who was a few years older and did very little. The visitors who were in the bottom three of the league hung on and were very chuffed at the final whistle.
AS Ladignac 0, Chateauneuf Neuvic B 1 – Haute Vienne Departmental 3 – Poule C – 3rd Tier in Haute Vienne

The following Sunday the 11th – as were killing time waiting for the house stuff to move on – I drove to Bosmie L’Anguille using Mlle Sat Nav. I arrived in time for the 3 o’clock kick off but couldn’t find the ground! Eventually having consulted an old-fashioned roadside map I arrived a few minutes into the game. AS L had it appeared at first no fans other than a random Scottish bloke but as the game wore on it became clear that a wee group of young women had also travelled at least one of them to watch their boyfriend face Bosmie Charroux.


The open end of the building is the bar/aid station

AS L’s 11 opened the scoring after a shot from the number 8 hit the bar. The AS L number 9 almost doubled the lead in acrobatic fashion at the far post but got it all wrong and it remained 0:1 at the half. In the first period I was flummoxed to see the ref produce a white card which meant 9 had to go sit on the bench for 10 minutes as punishment for dissent.

At half time the home goalie – who made me look like an athlete – did not join his team mates in the changing room instead he was in the bar area having his upper thigh strapped chatting to the locals! The big lad in goals for the home side was not mobile to start with and was a spectator when AS L’s number 7 got onto a through ball and chipped him. AS L continued to look more dangerous and but the home side’s best player hit the bar with a lovely curled free kick before the hosts got a goal back.


Allez le bleu et noir

I was again defaulting to French for the basic stuff but good a funny look of another visiting fan when I said perfectly reasonably “Good ball!” AS L’s 11 scored with a splendid dipping volley from outside the box before the blue and black number 10 – fresh from a wee seat on the bench prompted by a white card – played a great defence splitting pass from inside his own half. The AS L number 8 ran onto it, controlled it nicely before slotting the ball home in the last action of the match.

davBosmie-Charroux 1, AS Ladignac 4 – Haute Vienne Departmental 3 – Poule C
The result took AS L up the 3rd place in the 12 team league.


View of Limoges from the car park

Mustard of the Night and Fannys beware!

On one of our trips into SYlP after we parked we saw a chap reversing a wee digger so he could put it on the trailer of a works lorry. He did this slowly and purposefully but with a little less care than he should gently reversed his sturdy charge into the back of a parked van. A bloke was perfectly innocently eating his lunch in said works van when it was rudely but not very roughly taken from behind! He got out as did two other chaps from the lorry. Having seen it happen at almost slow-motion pace we paused to see what would develop. I feared that three people to one could be an issue and wandered over to make clear – in my best attempt at French – that we’d seen what had happened and could help if needed. Pleasingly the matter was being dealt with in a very relaxed and laidback fashion so our assistance was not required.

IMG_20181024_115912.jpgOn we went with our main task which was to find and purchase Walnut mustard – a special request of my Dad and Stepmother – in the Cave de Bacchus. It’s a very cool wine and for want of a better term fancy food and stuff shop run by a chap who played for SYlP FC when I used to go watch them. S stepped in to assist when I asked if they had “Mutard de nuit?” not “Mutard de noix?” The young shop assistant was no doubt confused as to what the hell Mustard of the Night was or could be!

In an effort to help S recover from laughing at me we stopped for a drink at The Joker café which still serves the best coffee in her view. Having just managed to pass on the regards of Jan and Keith to madam patron her initial blank look pleasingly changed to one of understanding. Wandering on we were waylaid by Kim half of our hosts from our viewing trip in late June, who now run J & K’s old place. We chatted catching up and she recounted her busy summer then we explained that as they didn’t allow pets we weren’t with them again this time.


A winding path

On our next wander we nearly walked to the Dordogne, not that we knew it at the time… Having checked out the church in Le Chalard as featured pictorially last time we wandered down hill to the mill. The watermill, now a home, used the Isle river to turn it’s wheel and such which I had suspected but checked after. While doing so I discovered that here the water way marks the boundary between the Haute Vienne and the Dordogne. Despite SYlP being further south and our new abode a little further south again they are in the HV not the more expensive D. The Isle river meanders on south westish getting bigger and bigger before joining the Dordogne river at Libourne which is a good hundred and eighty k’s by road from here.  (Which makes it more than several  times longer than the River Forth at 29m/47k – you’re welcome).  The Dordogne then joins the mighty Gironne, (the big one on all the maps of France that goes thru Bordeaux). The older of the two readers may remember the Isle goes past where we spent our first six months in 2014/15 where it is only a few feet wide.

On the way back the peace and serenity was broken by a sound as if from the gates of hell itself. A screeching wail that rang out across the idyll came from a donkey that had a decent set of lungs on it as well the ability to project brilliantly from its diaphragm. As we were slogging back up the hill I was able to hide a little the surprise I got even if S couldn’t hide hers. The beasts mission accomplished of scaring the heck out of wandering folk it returned to silence, the git!


Familiar as we are with all the local supermarkets, the large and small Intermarche, the Hyper Casino, Super U and Netto we are checking out what provides our favourite items most reasonably. On one such trip to Intermarche I enquired as to the availability of application details for a loyalty card then realised we didn’t yet have an address. Having confused the woman a little I drew the conversation to a close only for her a minute later to come scampering after us to see if I had paid for the bottle of diet cola I had had under my arm. I am many things but a criminal I am not… If however I were to begin down the road to criminality I’d start with the full fat and sugar stuff. I ain’t going to the big house for no diet pish!

With no indication of progress on the house buying front we continued to get into a bit of a routine until Wednesday the 24th when we went to Limoges Airport. There S picked up a stealth hire car for the drive north. She was off to Brittainy for a few days to learn about what she will be doing with Prestige Property Services assisting them with the Gite/Holiday reservation side of things. The process of getting the car was pretty simple after the place opened following lunch. In the small airport building were an exhibition of rather good cartoons – France is big on such things so you can enjoy some of them can be understood internationally…


The nice woman told us the hybrid hire car was very quiet. Being a hybrid quiet was not the word, silent or more accurately less than silent in a completely decibel free or even negative way… S being a bit of an executive type has much more experience of hire cars and such than boring old me, but we were both convinced that we couldn’t get the effing thing going! As there was room in front of the car my absolutely last straw suggestion of, “See if it moves…” was a forlorn cry. When it did it was met with surprise and relief from both of us. Significantly happier S headed off for quite six hour drive north, remember France is really rather big, while went back to ours. There are no pics of this episode tho anyone wandering by would have found our feeble efforts very amusing viewing…

S however arrived safely and no doubt silently. Mitzy seemed to handle being stuck with me and having a fifty percent reduction in available laps pretty well. While S was away I went to an old haunt of ours Lubersac for fitba courtesy of posters we saw on the Sunday – again see the other post. I did so after having lunched in Cro’k Food who had been teasing me via Facebook for months with their glorious burger creations – they are as I hoped as good as they look tho the sample size is so far small I will endeavour to visit again for your not my own good. Why anyone would go to McDonalds when they are in the town goodness only knows. As regards the rest of the day suffice to say I – who have been sun burnt about three times in my life – was genuinely concerned that I was going to be peeling for a fourth time. My wandering into the shade at half time and ample moisturising when I got home both did the job as thankfully I only added to my October tan. October and tan are two words I have rarely used together until now…


I had begun watching a bit of Petanque – aka boules – on French TV and it was the European Championships. The UK appeared to be un-represented, but will no doubt win it all after Brexit just cos… Anyway, I’d happened across a very tight and exciting quarter final between France and Switzerland in the three a side version. The French girls won even though one of them, Daisy missed a couple of key shots. I the next day found the same Triplette – trio – beating Italy with Charlotte – who can knock away an opposition ball with disturbing accuracy – and Anna – who despite being young will soon have more titles than Steve Redgrave – both doing well. Daisy again seemed to feel the pressure of playing alongside two such well established players. I ended up seeing the Final which France won 13-0, pleasingly with Daisy making the winning throw before dissolving into tears. A clean sheet win in Petanque is called a Fanny. Traditionally, (I’ve double & triple checked this), if you get beaten 13-0 you must kiss a girl called Fanny on the bottom! I know that’s why I triple checked.  Don’t check this on a work PC!


A Fanny

Accordingly, Petanque/Boule clubs often have a little statuette or similar rather than a lass of said name poised and available in case of a white wash or drubbing. I had wondered about having a go at the sport myself having had a few games in Pompadour during our long stay. This does make me wonder if it’s a good idea or not … I will not reveal yet which way this little gem of trivia is swaying my thoughts. There are clearly pro’s and con’s.

Fanny cupboard.jpg

A more subtle Fanny

The name Fanny is not uncommon in France and I was amused that a French judo star was featured in the local paper the very next day who luxuriates in the name Fanny Posvite. I am positive if I lost a match heavily I’d be leaving that Fanny and her bottom well alone.

Tune in next time to see if S comes back – #spoileralert she does – and what else we’ve been doing… :-)









Bits, bobs and double daring do! Settling in in 87500

Experience has taught us that when heading over to stay with or near Brit hosts it is important to ask if there is anything they crave from the UK. We arrived in the hamlet of Gondandeix with tins of Heinz Tomato Soup. This is not a hint to potential visitors… Well it wasn’t intended to be but now I think about it feel free to ask if ever heading our way!
Anyway, with Mitzy recovering from her journey and us a day earlier in situ in 87500 – which is the French post code for hereabouts – we unpacked further and began the process of waiting for confirmation of the date for the purchase of our new French abode, anticipating it would be early November at the latest. On our first full day we drove past to check the hoose was still in one piece which pleasingly it was.


Autumn market


In the mean time we were to be Chez Kay and Paul in a converted stable. It does the job rather splendidly and gave me the opportunity to get back into the swing of tending to a wood burner not that this was a prime consideration in mid-October. We have French TV so are missing … frankly nothing much that we watched in the UK. It gives us the opportunity to try and polish up our French a bit and watch some stuff we wouldn’t normally. It also means we can see what Jonny Hallyday, Jenifer, Trois Café Gourmands and the rather splendid Fatal Bazooka look like from their videos. I am yet to knock any sense into myself in the upstairs portions of our wee hoose on the angled ceilings, S has not yet had a problem for height related reasons. Mitzy settled in rapidly, enjoying sitting making faces at the many birds that like to welcome the dawn in the trees outside. She was not at this stage not bothered about not being allowed out but we wondered how long that would last for our wee prisoner of stable block H, (pronounced ach here).


S before we escaped the sun

Knowing this neck of the woods as we do we were quickly back into the swing of going to the shops and getting what we needed. There have been a couple of changes in shops since we were in Saint Yrieix la Perche for eleven months with a cheese shop opening and the arrival of a McDonalds which we haven’t yet got around to visiting. We did however over the first few days visit a few of the café’s so S could re-establish which had the best coffee and had lunch in the Vice Versa her fave. Posters at the roadside told of a Marche de Producteurs D’Automne on Saturday the 20th. Celebrating local produce like the apples and white chestnuts produced in the area. Not wanting to miss out on the first event since our arrival we toddled along on a glorious day with the temperature in the low to mid-twenties. So sunny was it that we after our initial lap of the stalls we nabbed a place at a long table under cover where an old couple were settling down for the afternoon. Like professionals they were equipped with picnic plates, cutlery and their medication required to taken before food. I got a sausage and just missed out on the last of very few bits of veggie pizza. Thus plan B was enacted for S’s lunch and after the chef who apparently features on local TV assured me the chestnut soup was veggie I was unable to have some lardons (wee thick slices like bacon) added to his offering. We both like chestnut soup it turns out tho I doubt that the addition of lovely lardons would have done anything but improve it for me…


Charity Apple

It was interesting seeing a few faces we recognised from events we’d been to in the past and we had another wander around. During which we learnt that the Limousin has thirty-six (36!) different apple species. That theme continued with some rather elaborately decorated larger than life versions which were later auctioned for charity. We declined the opportunity to dive in as it were to the large crates full of several different varieties of pommes to take away with us. We did however get a bottle of very freshly pressed apple juice – like within half an hour tops – that Greek Gods may have scorned nectar in favour of.

That evening – as I knew I would be busy the next Saturday – I headed off up the D704 to see Limoges FC in action. See the specific footie update for all the details, or dinnae it’s up to you! We went to Pompadour after a wee drive as we refamiliarized ourselves with the area on the Sunday having a wee drink at Le Ramparts café across from the Chateau on another lovely day.



Le Chalard church

A couple of days later we walked into Le Chalard – the nearest village – along a path which was blocked by a fallen tree. Thus, we had to get all SAS style in our crawling under the one strand electric fence to continue. Ooohh the danger and daring do I hear you cry! As we dawdled up the hill through the village we were a little surprised to see a hardback graphic novel on the roadside. I propped it up against a wall so it would be more obvious to who-ever we thought must have dropped it.

A little further on we saw another then in the wee square on the steps was a third, Biggles Le Vol du Walkenstein in which he was in Scotland. Having been a fan of Biggles in my yoof – before I knew what racism and misogyny were – I flicked through it following the plot and not being massively surprised that the good guys, Biggles, Algy and Ginger saved the day. Oddly Ginger in the French version is not the character with ginger hair… The rest of our wander back to Gondandeix required much less pluck and adventurousness.

Biggles Book

Biggles book!

We knew from our previous stay that perhaps in honour of our friend Jan’s birthday, who we’d visited on the way south, cranes aka Grues migrate over in large numbers. Being a decent size and vocal – I suppose like your lowly scribe – they are often heard before they come into view. Their honk like calls prompt looks skyward as the latest flock go over in a large V formation.


Migrating cranes

If you are lucky, as we were with the first lot this year, they have a bit of a blether to each other and circle to get their bearings and then re-form into a group before departing for northern France and it turns out on to Poland. We were stood in the garden having spotted them when Kay our hostess came out to see them too. She is a fan and was pleased to hear we shared her interest. The cries from above punctuated the next ten days or so and S got this rather good pic on one of our wanders despite not really being able to see them properly. There are just over ninety in this V but we have seen groups of two and three times this size this year. It’s a very, very cool thing.

La Rochelle and on to Le Chalard

The drive from Nantes to La Rochelle was shorter and less roasty. We arrived early – thanks to Mlle Sat Nav – and rather than dwell too long checked into our hotel and set off for a wander. Having of course one less day than planned due to Animal Courier daftness.
It was a nice day a little over cast but pleasantly warm for north Europeans like us. Having pottered about the harbour area we sought nosh. I ordered moulles et frites and S a veggie omelette. The area was reasonably busy and we soaked up the atmosphere which included a shabby chic chap dozing on a bench with neither us nor him having a care in the world. Our food arrived and S’s omelette looked good having as it did lots of obvious lardons, this was not quite as veggie as requested so another was rustled up quick sharp. I meanwhile had a frankly massive portion of mussels and reasonable sized accompaniment of chips. Due to the sheer size of my mollusc mound I began, with S’s permission. They were rather fab and as I ploughed through them I discovered a couple of innocent bystanders namely tiny little crabs that had been living in a couple of my lunch! They had however ended up meeting the same fate as their larger hosts, except I didn’t eat them. By the time my first bowl of empty shells had been removed – two were provided – S was tucking into a fresh omelette and to our amusement the dozing gentleman had moved in the neighbouring eaterie and was tucking into an ice cream with gusto.


La Rochelle

Suitably refuelled we set off for a wander around the walls and two famous towers that protected the port from foreign invaders. Despite it being off season there were lots of visitors but not enough to be an issue. The towers that mark the entrance to the harbour are interesting and there are also two light houses. One of which is rather away from the quayside but if out to sea you line them up you’ll come into the harbour without any problems – which struck me as clever. Tho I’m easily impressed.


Famous towers

There was no hiding of the fact that for quite a period of it’s history La Rochelle was rather vigorous in the then very fashionable Slave Trade… Something many other places are not quite so willing to mention and in fact often do their very best to hide – as recent news about Glasgow proves.



After a quiet night we discovered that our hotel had a view of TGV or similar trains that had just left the nearby station. S isn’t yet missing her daily commute on Scotrail – that feeling appears to be delayed! The Bay of Biscay which is what boats setting sail from La Rochelle faced for centuries can be a bit dodgy weather wise. It rained the next day as if to illustrate that fact and so I could throw in that educational titbit. Anyway, that didn’t bother us as we were going underground!


Old and new

During WWII there were submarines based in La Rochelle and the group they were from had a black cat as their emblem. The U boats were based in a massively reinforced concrete bunkers which attracted the attention of both the UK and US air forces – which of course lead to civilian as well as military casualties. The U boat crews were based in a Hotel Etranger – fans of Bergerac will know that means foreigners. Below that building remains a bunker which is now a museum. It is rather interesting for example the Mayor of La Rochelle on the day it was occupied had a German Lieutenant go to the Mairie (town house) and order him to take down the French flag and replace it with a Swastika one. The man in his seventies refused to take such an order from a low-ranking officer and told him to go get someone more senior! That was the first resistance in the city and the Mayor a few years later was to pay for his continued involvement in such things with his life. The German U boat crews and colleagues were pretty successful early on but tactical and technological advances by the Allies meant that the average life expectancy of U boat crewmen was only about three months and in total upwards of three quarters of them were killed.


Gratuitous Bergerac picture

The bunker was interesting and a little surprisingly had a well decorated bar – much of which was still visible. A couple of women had left the employment of a department store in Germany to do interior design for the U boat crews, decorating the bar and no doubt parts of the Hotel above as well. They were paid by the Kreigsmarine – the German Navy – to do so. Even when after D-Day the remaining U boat units left France going to Norway they were deemed important enough to go with them. At the end of the War the Allies then asked the same women to decorate their accommodation! Doing painting and interior design for both sides… How oddly curious.
Emerging above ground it had continued to rain which was ironic as there seemed to be a theme of pink umbrella’s across the city, none of which we nicked. We went to a pizza place called Rigoletto on rue Chef de Ville, a street or two from the harbour. I mention it as the pizza’s were very, very good. The tomato sauce on them was much richer than you normally get. Consider it recommended! As we had an early start the next day … we had a quiet evening packing and similar. Not before a nice woman stopped to ask us directions, something that rarely happened in the UK but seems to happen to me all the time in France…


Pretty town


Next morning we checked out a day and a bit early to rendezvous with our travelling cat. It was dark and we stopped for petrol. As I finished filling up a guy was struggling to get his car to the pump. After I’d paid he was still having difficulty so with my mediocre French and some pointing I helped shove it forward. Unhindered by such problems we pootled towards 87500.

Not having any idea when Mitzy was arriving we kept on going pausing only when necessary. We knew the Animal Couriers knew S couldn’t access ansaphone messages on her mobile so wouldn’t call her and leave a message. It turns out that they did do that but our expectations of them were so low that was no surprise… We paused only when we had to stopping in La Rochefoucauld for frankly rather obvious reasons. It had a nice chateau which has been added to and worked on since they first broke ground back in 980!



We arrived in Le Chalard or rather Gondandeix where Kay and Paul – our short-term hosts – had not already welcomed Mitzy. We took some stuff out the car and as M had still not arrived were able to whiz into Saint Yrieix la Perche to grab a scratch post having got a litter tray, etc, during our previous stop. Returning we were able to get more out the car and settle down to wait for the bundle of fur and occasional attitude that is our cat. Unhearalded and without notice a van appeared and Kay told us we had a visitor. Mitzy seem pleased to be removed from said van and relatively soon was settled down on S’s lap. She seemed fine and was blissfully unaware of the shambles that had gone along with her travels and the impact Animal Couriers had on not just S and I but the innocent bystanders that were Kay and Paul.


Then there were three…

Meandering South (actually west then south…)

Next morning – paying more heed to the stroppy lass imprisoned in our dashboard – we headed from Calais for Etretat. Why pray tell, I hear you both cry…


Pretty like a picture

After meandering enjoyably through some wee villages – Mlle Sat Nav seems to like that sort of route as we do – we arrived and after some Google Maps prep the night before parked at the sea front. Etretat is very nice but be warned the parking meters are clearly designed for proper geniuses. We waited patiently unconcerned while married Americans were shown how it worked by a very understanding French couple. He wanted her “to give them a dollar” for helping! How hard can it be we thought? Only for the next person to have similar difficulties before being helped by a different patient French person. I’ve 5 years of further education and much more significantly S has put up with me for 17 years and it took us a while! Not only does it ask for your registration but I’m pretty sure we needed to input our favourite colour, height and Joan of Arcs date of birth squared to the nearest prime number… It wasn’t however pricey obviously as some form of reward for the Nobel Laureates who manage to get a wee ticket out the very testing machine. There is free parking out of town for people with the intellectual capacities of Stephens Fry and Hawking…


Other side of the bay

Etretat is however iconically beautiful and as it was sunny well worth a visit for those who like Monet and his Impressionist ilk. I fear it is busier peak season but we were able to wander the streets unhindered by coach parties and paused to soak up the ambience eating frites and mayo – as you do.


Better pic

Onwards we went leaving behind the queues of people wailing and gnashing their teeth at the parking meters. Seriously the other parking is the better option unless you feel particularly clever or have kidnapped a PhD. Pootling along towards Honfleur another painter’s haunt we had few cares in the world going over the Pont de Normande which is one then another whopping feat of engineering…


From one bridge to the other

We arrived without problems at the Ibis Hotel hosting us for the night. After unloading our most valuables, which required two trips each stop, we fitted after a fashion our headlight adapter thingys. This would have taken less time if we were not still recovering from the gargantuan test of our intellectual capacities that was parking for two to three hours in Etretat.


Only bit with the name … Not the best but avoided the bins!

S was given a cool poster advertising an art exhibition on in Honfleur around her date of birth by a very good friend of hers. We wandered the short distance into town and having found the place that hosted said exhibition dawdled around the harbour which is still lined with higgledy piggledy old buildings many of which are now bars and eateries. Pleasingly Honfleur retains the charm of the Impressionists daubings of the past even if the properties are now not as brightly coloured.


Working harbour


Having found a place for our tea S checked her phone and discovered a missed call, said device rang at that moment and it was the animal couriers who were transporting our cat Mitzy. The woman told S that they were dropping off our wee poppet on the 16th not the 17th – which was not what we’d asked for nor paid them to do as we were not going to arrive ourselves until the 17th! We said we’d not be there to have her delivered foolishly thinking the date arranged was how their system would work. Sat as we were mid main course this was a very unpleasant surprise. I then spoke to the woman who lied about things clearly previously stated in e-mails and among other things threatened to not bother collecting Mitzy at all OR refund the significant amount of money we’d already paid the f@cktards. Despite her saying with no hint of irony whatsoever, “Just because you put the 17th on the Booking Form”! This being something which we’d it appeared very stupidly done before they confirmed the details and took our money. The woman was hilariously inept and accused me of being “rude and aggressive”, bless her. In that we were in a busy restaurant and I was surprisingly being both calm and measured in my comments, attracting no attention from the other diners. I fear the poor woman has had a very, very sheltered life. She wouldn’t like me at all if I had been being either of these things. I won’t name the company of Animal Couriers…



Our evening very much over shadowed we called the people we were booked to stay with from the 17th and they rather brilliantly came up with a few options to save the day and stop Mitzy being abandoned at the road side or left stuck in Polmont with a happy Debra and less so Gordon…


It’s still art hereabouts

When we returned to the Hotel S needed a drink – something that despite being married to me is surprisingly a very rare occurrence. The next morning it had dawned on us that we could cut short our established and paid for travel plans to fit the whims and idiosyncrasies of the Animal Couriers dullards who no doubt consider themselves to operate in the service sector. This was agreed with our hosts and we – having no indication as to any arrival time – became resigned to our holiday plans being screwed up (to our cost) and an early morning start then high tailed drive to 87500 hoping to get there before our charming and blissfully ignorant of the shenanigans wee grey feline.


Ironically named eaterie – The cat that fishes

Having addressed this further the next morning and gone back to the customer service ignoring Animal Couriers we set off towards Nantes…

Are we there yet? 2018


Another brick or two in the wall

We set off south on the 8th of October, the car heavily loaded and despite the efforts of Halfords – who’d redefined useless – a top box was safely in situ. Almost leaving behind a slipper having packed the top box in sideways rain and with house keys we thought we’d left behind… The first stops were Vindolandia, the Roman Army Museum and Hadrians Wall – all of which were very interesting and well worth the visit.

Our first night was in the Hilton at John Lennon aka Liverpool Airport as Susan had amassed enough hotel points for a free stay. Unlike a certain Hotel California* said Hilton is harder to get into than leave perched as it is atop a multi-storey car park… At the third attempt we managed to find our way to it and check in. Apart from being elusive it was fine and you can see a yellow submarine the significance of which no-one needed explained, honest. (As regards the * Ringo Starr of The Beatles is brother in law of Joe Walsh of The Eagles… You’re welcome!)

Next day getting used as we were to the sat nav – knowing the way where we used to live – the sheer joy of long stretches of 50mph limits were broken by the voice tersely shouting at us to do something or other. Smart Motorways are a brilliant bit of spin btw – using the hard shoulder as another lane and hoping for the best cannot go wrong… We used the toll bit of the M6 which was like a French road smooth surfaced, clean, empty and efficient but avoiding the civilisation and no doubt numerous delights of Birmingham.

Due to historic under investment and a stroppy cow telling us to drive through The Fens we arrived late at Jan and Keith’s. They had hosted us for the first six months of our previous French adventure and despite that were more than happy to see us. We had a lovely lunch and they detailed some of the differences they are getting used to going the other way.

Not Maureen

Not Maureen or is it???

We then went onto darkest Norfolk having a couple of fun days with Maureen and Keiran where we dealt with a couple of issues, sending back keys, requesting a screw in a shop – for my sunglasses – and sharing a picture from one of the museums of a person who looked very, very much like Maureen. On the last night we had a curry that sadly impacted three of us in one way or another…

Thus it was a tired, weaker and perhaps slimmer me that started the drive south not having risked breakfast. Susan took over as we weaved between many a lorry in the ferry terminal at Dover. Loads and loads of lorries, as there had been going both ways on the motorway through Kent. Thank goodness the UK would never do anything to jeopardise this vibrant, lucrative and clearly important trade.



A storm had been approaching the UK and we were fearful it may be channelled up the Channel leading to a rough crossing. S was more worried than I was as I had little to lose! Anyway we rolled onto the roll on roll off and having checked the muster stations and taken a few pictures retired to the adult only lounge to avoid several coach loads of school kids. Before you get all excited the adult only lounge was not as exotic as it may appear unless you find pictures of boats and peace and quiet stimulating… If there had been a disco funk soundtrack we’d not have entered! This was probably a good thing as the boat wasn’t rocking much already and I was still in a weakened state. Having chunnelled our previous trips it was easy to see why this has been the main crossing point from Roman times as both sides were clearly in view much of the way.


On our way

Arriving we didn’t need the stroppy lass to find the hotel. But berthing in a different place we used her to get us back to the hotel via a perfectly lovely but unnecessary trip up then down a normal or by UK standards great bit of motorway. The Calais Holiday Inn has been a regular stopping point and they now have chickens roaming the grounds which is cool. Striving a walk we set off for the nearish mall but turned around before some rather heavy rain had the wipers in overdrive and that would have drenched us. After enjoying the large supermarket – all should have a sushi bit with folk doing fresh stuff – a quiet evening was had before a sensible start the next day.